Tuesday, January 11, 2011

It's been awhile, hasn't it?

So a quick update on all the things you missed:

I failed at yet another relationship. (NO BIG SURPRISE)

I've decided that dating is a hassle, that I should live for me just for a little while.

I have decided to join the airforce. Hooah! I plan on going into basic in the fall. This is probably the best choice and the choice I have made that I have the most pride in. :)

I got my wisdom teeth torn from my face along with three cists that had developed on the one side on friday. To celebrate the fact that I can chew again, I am having a McDonald's party tomorrow. We're testing the "How many goobers can you fit in one McDonald's" theory.

I have been on College break since like the 12 of December and I only go back tomorrow. This has driven me absolutely insane. So much so that I actually sat for three hours yesterday and played "Monsters Inc Jr." on my new laptop. The game was made for "3 years and up".

I actually sent a few of my articles and shit to real magazines. I was denied by one, but that's okay. You gotta be told no a few times before you can be told yes.

I turned eighteen. This just makes the statement about the game I played for three hours, even more pathetic.

I am still a virgin. I am not sure whether or not I am thoroughly and completely proud of this. I am in one way. You know, it means I was smart enough not to open my legs to the wrong guy. It also means that I have yet to find the right guy.

We bought a new dog. Her name is Lucy. She's retarded. When she was a puppy she used to run around in circles and pee at the same time. You could call this talent, but she also prefers the taste of her asshole, mulch and rocks to her dogfood. When she gets bored, she jumps up on the couch and basically seizes all over it while snotting all over herself and the chair at the same time. She's the product of two dogs that had two different dogs in them. When you mix that much stupid together, Lucy is what you get.