Thursday, October 30, 2008

Have you ever been in that place...

where you don't know what to do and you're scared because you don't know what to do. You're frightened because you've never been in this place before where you only had an hour before you had to make a decision that could change the way alot of people saw you. You have to make the choice and its hard because you know the consequences of either choice and neither is looking good. And you're just scared, really really scared.

Have you ever been in that place...
where you don't know whether you want to cry or scream? Whether you want to be sad or angry? Where you are shaking because there are too many emotions in you at once and you don't know how to sort them all out and its crashing around cataclysmically inside you and making your stomach sick and your head hurt?

Have you ever been in that place...
where you want to talk to someone about it but also don't want to talk to anybody at the same time? Where you don't want anyone to know about your fight with this girl, yet you want everyone to know so you know that they are on your side but then again you don't WANT a side in this at all. You want to get out of this fight entirely but you aren't given the choice.

Have you ever been...
hurt
confused
angry
scared
and sick

all at once...



I have. Right now.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Why I am 'involved' in all of this

I was involved what I was involved in solely because one of my best friends came to me crying. And obviously it wasn't tottally all the one girl's fault. It was the one boy's too. But the one girl could've been the better person and yea, I could've been the better person as well. But I am not a better person, I never will be. Not when it comes to my friends. I was involved in this because when someone comes to you crying, you don't just ignore them. As soon as your best friend comes to you crying, you comfort her and you take her side because that's what friends do. I have taken that one girl's emotional abuse for too long and yes, I will own up and admit that I have emotionally abused back but considering that she emotionally abused first, it was self defense. I changed my blog url so now she won't even know that I even said this. She has always blamed me for everything that has gone wrong in her life and pretty soon i just got used to it. I will not stand for her doing that to another person. This blog is in place of the one I put before. I will apologize solely to Mr.Miller for not being appropriate since this blog does count as a school assignment. I will not apologize for the things I said becuase they were what I feel and I can't just delete what I feel. Or how I feel or How she makes me feel, how year after year since I moved to this godforsaken state she has made me feel like dirt and scum. she has countlessly made me feel like a bug on her windsheild. So yea, I retaliated and I probably shouldn'tve but when someone keeps shoving your face in the dirt do you just let them and suffocate or do you fight? If you can come up with a reasonable explanation for why I should just suffocate then and only then will I apologize to that girl for my true feelings. Only then will I say that I am wrong.

Until then I am not going to let ANYONE push my face in the dirt anymore.

I LOVE LISA!!!!

She's awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She finnally posted out against Lindsay! The stupid computer keeps bolding things. But I love Lisa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


































I LOVE LISA!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Exactly six sentences.

I am extremely annoyed with one person right now. If she can't figure out who she is, then she's pretty stupid. I'm tired. I'm texting someone right now trying to figure out what to do about another problem. I have all good grades. I am done.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Mary Sue-ish

Another term in Fanfiction world. It means basically that you're fanfic is overly cute and tragically unbelievable, that nothing in your fanfic makes any sense. I just thought I'd put that up.

Okay, I left a message on my last updated chapter on "Perpetual Love" to all the flamers of the world that they need to knock it off. Oh, and guess what? She didn't actually tear apart my first chapter like I thought she had. My first chapter was eight pages long. No, she didn't tear up my first chapter. She tore up (verbally) my PROLOGUE! The prologue wasn't even a whole page long. It is a PROLOGUE! Its supposed to be short and vague! That's why its a PROLOGUE! Its not supposed to be long and give away the story! Its simply a tiny introductory part of the book to capture the attention of the readers! If she had simply read the actual FIRST CHAPTER she would've seen that all of the things she was saying were bad were actually EXPLAINED IN THE FIRST CHAPTER! God, I hate people sometimes.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

To all the Flamers of the world....I hate you

If you are not a fanfiction.net user you will have no idea what I am talking (or more like ranting) about in the this entire post. I'll try to explain as much as I can.

SO, I have a fanfic up on fanfiction.net called Perpetual Love and I have been getting about five reviews a chapter, they were all praising reviews. And yea, I understand that I am not a five hundred dollar bill, not everyone will like me. But still, there's this girl who posted a flame review on my fanfic and a flame is the term for a rude review that is not doing anything except criticizing the fanfic. She told me that it was poorly written and that everything was wrong. ALL SHE READ WAS THE FIRST CHAPTER!!! Now tell me 'icecoldhamster' (her name) how can you judge my entire story when the only part of it you read was the first chapter? Seriously and I didn't go on your story and leave you a nasty review did I? No, I left you praising reviews. So exactly what the H3ll is your problem?!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Yes, Erin is actually going to stay at Band practice all night tonight.

Weird title, no? Well, I thought I'd just state a fact. I have basically decided that I really don't care anymore about what they say to me or do to me. I see myself as indestructible so from now on I don't care if people take their bad moods out on me because god knows I'm used to it. And I'm really only talking about like two people imparticular, one is on guard and another is on band. The one in band probably doesn't even know how much she irks me because I try to stay away from her and for the people in band that are reading this, NO ITS NOT ANNA! I freaking love Anna. Its someone whose name starts with an A though, if you can't figure things out from there, woooow you are pretty dang stupid.

Monday, October 20, 2008

And this was my weekend

Friday: (Yes, I count that as the weekend) I stayed after school with Angela and Melissa the two most awesome girls you will ever meet. I froze my A$$ off at the game but it was worth while because we WON! 18 to 13 baby!!!!

Saturday: Homecoming dance!!!! It was one of the best nights of my life, I didn't get a picture with everybody that I said I would, but I got tons with Brendon.

Sunday: This day was AWESOME! I went with Brendon and his sweet grandparents to church. Afterwards I stayed at his house until around seven thirty at night. It was really great. We were walking around the development at one point and he was wearing this hunting jacket and I pretended to scream and said "Ahhh its a monster" and I was walking a little bit in front of him and he came up behind me and wrapped the jacket around me and pulled me close and said "I ate you." It was adorable and funny all at the same time. One of the funniest and funnest moments would have to be when we got in a play fight over a rock and I told him if he could get the rock from me I'd give him a kiss and I was standing on the rock. He said "Oh, that's easy" and he just picked me up and moved me beside him. So I kissed him and then I kissed him again and again and again and again and again and again because his kisses are like chocolate, you can't just have one because they are so addicting.

I
LOVE
HIM
!!!!!!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Its only TWO MORE DAYS until HOMECOMING

Yep Yep, tomorrow's the big game! The vikings better smash those indians. I am so physched about all of this and no I don't care whether or not I spelled that right. I found my old camera, but its crap so I'm probably going to borrow my sister's or just use my phone and transfer the images to my computer later on. I love dances. OH! We ordered Brendon's boutineer last night!! EEEEEEEEE! I probably will end up stabbing him with it if I try to put it on so I'm probably going to ask him to or get him to help me. I really don't want to stab my boyfriend! I love him! AND for the repeated question askers of this century, I know what you are thinking..............
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"HOW LONG HAVE YOU AND BRENDON BEEN DATING?"
































Eleven months and four days.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Its only three more days until HOMECOMING

Again, I tell you...I AM SOOOO EXCITED for homecoming! The powderpuff games are tonight and the bonfire! Can't wait to go to that either! I am so bringing my camera and taking like half a dozen pictures of me with whoever I can find.
People who are going that I want to take a picture with:
1.Lisa
2. Haylie
3. Kate
4. Pumpkin
5. Amber
6. Anna
7. ANGELA! I FREAKING LOVE THAT GIRL!
8. Reba
9. Tracy (i think she's coming)
10. Chelsea
11. Jenny
12. Brittany
I will kidnap them and force them to take a picture with me. I will I'll do it. Don't tempt me. haha. Oh my gosh, do you know that there is this thing on youtube that when you go to leave a comment on someone's video you can click this thing called "Audio....somethingorother" and it reads it back to you in this Chinese guy's voice....it's really weird.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Its only four more days until HOMECOMING!

OH MY GOD! I can't wait. I finnally picked out which earrings I wanted to wear and which shoes. I know what I am doing with my nails now. I'm getting a french manicure but instead of getting the tips just painted white I'm thinking about getting them painted the color of my dress which you all know is a deep purple. I tried my dress on last night! I lost enough weight to fit into it! YAY! I can't wait. I'll be at the Powderpuff games and the bonfire tomorrow night not that it really matters to anybody on here but yea. I'll be there. This is the first year that I'm actually going to the games and the bonfire, I never went before.

Freshman year- I didn't go because I didn't know about it plus the only dance I went to my freshman year was Sno-ball because I kinda sorta had a date....its a difficult story to understand.

Sophmore Year- I don't know why I didn't go last year, I just didn't. Yet, one of my best freinds went to the powderpuff games and threatened my boyfriend...kind of, she interragated him. She said that if he hurt me (keep in mind, at the time he wasn't my boyfriend yet....he was soon to be but he wasn't yet) that she'd hurt him. And he said that he would never hurt me and that soon he was going to ask me out. The only dances I went to my sophmore year- Homecoming and King of Hearts.

Junior year- I AM GOING YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!












I love it how some people find new things to complain about everyday even though nothing and no one is really bothering them. I really think that people like that just really hate themselves and that's why they feel the need to take it out on everybody else.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

So, I'm sitting here thinking...

How can a day this bad get any worse? Have you ever had a day where you are sitting there thinking....oh my god! I WISH I COULD JUST DISAPPEAR FOR AWHILE! ? because if you have then you have experienced what I am experiencing now. I am sitting here, trying to get all of my projects done, racing against Nick to add updates onto our website so that he doesn't get all the points. Trying to figure out also:
1. What I'm going to do about Friday.
2. How I'm going to make everything work on Saturday without ticking off the entire band and guard but also without dishonoring my previous commitment. I mean, I know this is going to sound horrible. But my friends come before band. I'm sorry, that's the way it is. Chew me out if you want but that's the way the world works with Erin.
3. What I'm going to do Sunday
4. What I'm going to do about monday, I don't know how, but I have to get my mom to let me have anna over so that she can pick out which pair of my high heels she wants to wear to Homecoming
5. What earrings I am going to wear to homecoming. What a stupid thing to worry about right? Well, I am me. And I want to look freaking awesome at homecoming and the earrings have to be the perfect ones. Real gems and no plastic crap.
6. What color boutineer I'm getting Brendon and no I don't care if or if not I spelled that right. Leave me alone
7. I'm already starting my Christmas List of people to buy for. I have more friends this year than I did last year, but then again, I drifted apart from some of my previous friends this year too. I also became better friends with people I was more like an acquantince too before.

Funny things between me and my boyfriend.

Ok, Brendon has this thing that he does constantly, just because he knows it annoys the crap out of me. He always squeezing my nose and saying "Honk". He only does it because he knows I don't like it. Well, to get him back for it. I took my water bottle and wiped all the water off of the bottle on his arm. Well, naturally when I hugged him, he wiped it off on my back.

Monday, October 6, 2008

ACTUALLY,

I have the exact same grade in both English and Trigonometry. A ninety four.

Today is Erin is Happy day

I am just extremely happy today and I don't know why! I just am. Homecoming isn't that far away now, I still have to buy a few things to go with my dress and figure out what color bootineer (no I don't care whether or not that is spelled right) I'm going to get Brendon. I love dances soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. I love getting dressed up and getting my hair and nails and makeup done and looking in the mirror and thinking....'holy crap...I'm goreous.' I also love the look on my boyfriend's face when he sees me all dolled up. You should've seen him last year...he was speechless, litterally.

I'm doing well in all of my classes right now. Thank the lord, Erin Howie actually has a brain somewhere in there. And believe it or not, TRIGONOMETRY is one of my best classes this year. I have a better grade in it than in English right now. Maybe, Mr.Miller just changed my grade..I'll check.


Well, toodles!!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Now there are a variety of things you should never do...

For Erin....me,....being left home alone is something that should never be allowed....if you could've seen the outcome...you would know why. Spontaneous singing of "BABY LOVE, MY BABY LOVE" if that's even the title. I put my clothes on my dog...litterally. I took three zillion random photos of myself...and I laughed so hard at completely nothing that I cried....



Now you probably think I'm physcotic.



You're probably right.

OMGSH!

So I went baby shopping for Jamie today. Oh my god. Babies cost a fortune. Words to live by: Don't open your legs unless you are ready to pay for the baby. Or atleast don't open your legs unless you have like triple protection: 'dom, pills and....whatever else could possibly protect you. tell him to wrap it twice. hahaha. that's all for now

Thursday, October 2, 2008

You know what really tires me?

Hearing everyone else complain about like every little thing. It's like, why can't you just be happy and live your life to the fullest? You don't always need to miserable. Unless you enjoy being miserable...if you do, you're a a masochist. Don't know what that means? Look it up. That's why they made dictionary.com.