Epic quotes

So I realized that I haven't updated this in forever and this used to be my life source. So, what have I accomplished this summer?
I've changed alot this summer, I'm pretty much a new person. I'm happier, prettier, skinnier and much more. I changed boyfriends and I really think that's what's made me so much happier. Nick is AMAZING. He's the sweetest boy I've ever met, hands down.

So, I know what you're waiting for. Where are the new editions to Erin's epic quotes? Now, this first one is pretty epic so I advise you to sit back in your chair, put down the alcoholic drink you are drinking to make reading this blog less painful, and put on your seatbelt because this bitch is going to blow you away.

This is the world's most epic swear.























"Holy cocksuckingdickshittingpissfuck!"













Yes, I was hyped up on some kind of good weed when I said that one. Just kidding, I don't smoke, period.

Now, for more epic quotes. Most of them involve swear words.

Some random person, who, I forget at the moment: Can we take a picture together?
Me: Sure we can take a picture together, come back to my place and slip into something more comfortable and we can take a picture, alright.

Nick and I both: *making the squeaking sounds he taught me*
Me: Is this our mating call?
Nick: *laughs and hugs me* You're amazing

Me: I did the rain dance, I made it rain, because I'm Jesus.
Amanda: You have a penis?
Me: Yes, its detachable. You fasten on with Velcro

Me: Do you think I'm sexy?
Nick: You have your way of driving me crazy.
Me: So do you think I'm sexy?
Nick: That was a yes, dear.

Me: I really wanted to tell her to suck my throbbing dick but that wouldn't have worked out too well.
Becca: Because you don't have one?
Me: No, because she might think it was an actual invite.

Me: I swear on my left testicle
Kori: You don't have one of those
Me: I only have the left one, something very tragic happened to my right one.

Me: for sex, you know something normal people do

(Just FYI, Erin is still a virgin. haha)

Now, I have to go eat, its kind of required for me to....you know, live.

Quick Update

Me and the boyfriend I was so sure would last forever, broke up. I'm still hurting. I'm with a new boy now, but I can't help feeling like I pushed things too fast with this one. I don't want him to feel like a rebound but that may actually be what he is. *sigh* I hate being me sometimes.

I leave for North Carolina in eleven days. I'm excited but I'm going to miss Nick (Nick Joel Allison, the new boyfriend)

I'm currently in a student council meeting, we're trying to plan homecoming. We've come with alot of amazing ideas. A neon theme where instead of selling tickets we sell glow bracelets and you'll get to keep that. A monopoly theme. A chocolate factory theme, mmmm, chocolate. I thought about like a starry theme with bright reds and golds, also the neon theme with the bracelets was my idea. A winter wonderland theme. A time theme, with clocks and crap everywhere. A fairy tale theme, we could call it like a Knight with You. An aladin theme where we could take the tops of those little cars that kids ride in and the court would come in on a "magic carpet" type thing. A disney theme where the court would be Mulan, Cinderella, Belle, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, so on and so forth. We also are having a full court for each grade. King and Queen for twelfth grade. Prince and Princess for eleventh. Duke and Duchess for tenth. Lord and Lady for ninth. Something like that. They want to play like a specific playlist to each theme but we think people wouldn't come, well they would but they'd leave. I'm keeping more notes than our secretary is.

Lets see, is there anything else I'd like to update you on? Well, I got hired at the renaissance faire as a water hawker. Um....I'm not thinking of anything else. I haven't really gotten the chance to write considering I work all the time. I'll work on that if bugged enough. I'm really not supposed to be on here.

Before I go though, I'd like to add some new random quotes to your Erin's Random Quotes notebooks, I know you have them don't lie.

This was during a conversation about the song Devour by Shinedown. If you don't know, I advise you to immediately go to Imeem and look it up, now.

Erin: I could have hot, angry, hate sex to that song.

Ok, the next two are from marching band tuesday night. The first one is because I was trying to figure out how to play this one part and I was going really slow and then Anna hears me and plays the whole part completely perfect and at the right speed. So my response to that was:

Erin: I don't appreciate your face.
Jenny: *laughs* I appreciate your face, Anna.

This next conversation....um....I was tired, I was up until three a.m the night before, I had spent all day at Hershey with Nick. Jenny's pants were falling down. What makes this quote epic is the fact that neither of the two things have anything in common...

Erin: Jenny, say no to crack, because...kids in Africa don't eat.

Yeah, because that makes a crapload of sense and then me, Anna and Jenny started discussing exactly why Kids in Africa don't eat and then I started complaining, saying that in Africa there are these huge ass elephants, why don't they just eat elephants? They should eat babies, somehow we came up with that. And now, our response to everything is "Quit doing _____ because Kids in Africa don't eat." And no I don't know why I keep capitalizing the k in kids. I didn't do it that time.

For example:
"She should quit being such a bitch, because kids in Africa don't eat."

One last quote:
Jenny: I need a drink
Erin: I need you in my pants.

Ok, I know I said this was going to be a quick update. I'm sorry I lied. I had to update you on everything. Ok, before I go I have to demand you add these next few songs to your summer playlist:

Second Chance by Shine Down (theme of my life currently)
Don't Trust Me by 30H!3
Te Queiro by Flex fet. Belinda

Ok, now I'm done. I swear. sorry for lying about it being quick.... that's what she said... ok. I'm sorry....bye.

School Year is Officially Over

And I no longer have to care about language on here because it's no longer a school grade. FUCK. That felt good.

So lets review my accomplishments my Junior year:
~ I survived Musical
~ I survived Marching Band
~ I survived Trignometry (Averaged an A for the year!!!!!)
~ Still with Brendon, still love him very much
~ Finally started Crimson Sorrow
~ Made New Friends that I know will last forever (Ben and Angela)


Haha, my accomplishment today?
The alarm on my dad's watch was going off and would not stop so I just stare at it and scream "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and my sister just cracked up.

Final exams and Writer vs. Author

I took my trig final. I got a B on it which was alot better than I expected. I have my chemistry final next period which I am certain I am going to bomb, no doubt about it. I suck when it comes to chemistry. I am just not a science person. Most writers aren't. I'd call myself an author but when I hear "author" I think of some outstanding, professional or almost professional person, whose words literally move people to tears. I don't see my stories as that. I see my stories as Juvenile and immature, they need alot of work before they become the types of stories that bring people to tears or laughter or whatever I'm trying to convery. Haha, I'm pretty sure authors don't use huge @$$ run on sentences like I just did. And they probably don't start a sentence with "and" and they probably don't ever use the nonexistant word "fer" in replace of for or say "yous". Yes, yes, I know. I'm pretty much degrading myself and my stories on my own blog, but what's your opinion? Am I just a writer? Or am I an Author?


Ben, by the way, you are an author, not a writer.

Gershflackerflugen

Could not think of a title....

So, I found a notebook me and Jamie used at the beginning of the year, before she left school to take care of Alaina and I have come to a conclusion: I say the word F#ck more than should be legal in one sentence when I am angry.

My favorite sentences in the Jamie & Erin Notebook:

~Kate was b!tching at me when I was trying to fix her f*cking uniform so she didn't look like such a f*cking skank on the f*cking field and then Heidi b!tched at me too for trying to fix Kate's f*cking uniform even though it was none of her f*cking business anyhow so why didn't she just turn the f*ck around and leave me the f*ck alone?

(there are seven f*cks in that sentence alone.)

~I knew Michael Jackson had something to do with the missing notebook, I knew I could smell his Thriller perfume (he doesn't wear cologne, perfume draws little boys to him because he smells like their mommy).

~In truth, her @$$ swallowed her face.

~I wish babies won't crap alot.

(I love that sentence simply because it is the worst grammar I have ever seen.)

~Its alot of fun, unless we are sitting in the rain freezing our @$$es off, then it sucks hairy monkey anus and I don't think sucking hairy monkey anus is good for your health.

~You are NOT a fatty, you are pregnant. You're just spermy.

And that concludes the Jamie and Erin quotes.
There's an Erin and Angela texting quote that I would like to share with you. We were having a "f*ck fight" and I won with this following sentence:

~I f*cking love f*cking the f*cking f*ck outta f*cking you. Holy f*ck. That didn't make any f*cking sense.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup


I had a liter of F*CKING red mountain dew.
Leave me alone


Brendon and Erin Quotes:

Erin: Quit being such a d!ck
Brendon: Quit being such a vagina

hahahaha I seriously almost peed when he said that. Talking about pee, I peed like eight times in the past two hours. Thought you'd like to know. Back to Erin and Brendon quotes, or Brendon and Erin quotes....WTF it doesn't f*cking matter which f*cking order they are in.

Brendon:
OMFG YOU'RE SUCH A CUTIE PIE! I love you!

Brendon: Screw "I freaking love you" Erin, I f*cking love the f*cking he!! out of you!!!

Okay, enough of that. UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM


poop.

Last second quote from Creative Writing

Sierra: I am not keeping any of my baby girls, I don't want a girl.
Erin: I'll take your girl
Sierra: You will? She'll probably be a slut
Brittany: If she's yours, then yeah

Aw, you guys are so sweet

Amanda and Ben are atleast. They made me smile. See, I don't actually see myself as a nice person. Now, I'm going to ask something else of you. And if you do it, I need you to do it and pretend that I don't have feelings when you do ok?

I want you to evaluate my faults. What do I do that you see as wrong? What cracks are in the foundation that is me? Am I stubborn? Do I have an easy to set off temper? Am I too dramatic? Am I sensitive? Am I easy to hurt? Evaluate my faults. Do it NOW

An evaluation of Erin Howie (Nick, Ben, Amanda, Lisa READ)

"I don't see how anyone couldn't like you."
"When I met you I just wanted to tell you everything."
"When I first met you, I liked you right away."
"You aren't hard to get to know at all."

I have heard these and variations of these statements all my life. Why people feel that way towards me, I have no idea. I don't know what it is about me. I would like you to tell me, each of you, Nick, Ben, Amanda, Lisa and anyone else who follows this blog that can call themselves my friend, to evaluate me.

What did you feel when you first met me?
Am I hard to get to know?
Do I "wear my heart on my sleeve"?
Am I easy to talk to?
Evaluate me as a person, my personality, everything, what is your evaluation of Erin Howie?