Friday, May 1, 2009

ugh...

Being convinced a week early that prom is going to suck....- pricelessly depressing

I'm so tired of being treated like crap from people who keep telling me they care. I don't know what to do anymore. I tell them the truth but by doing that I am "leading them on" and "being a tease". So, I tell them a lie, then they freak out and beg me not to go. I know there's a phsycological reason behind the reason I get treated this way, so I know I shouldn't get upset. But when he tells me he's sorry for treating me this way, all I see is red because I know he doesn't mean it, emotionally or phsycologically. He never will, apparently until I give him what he wants and I'm confused and he isn't giving me any time and I just I don't know. It hurts too much, everything hurts too much. Too much hurt at once and I can't take much more despite how resilient I pride myself on being.

And apparently he's still mad? Because I stood outside his chemistry class waving forever and not once did he even look my way, and I know he knew I was out there. I didn't leave until Pavlis got all up in my face saying "Get to class." I'm SO glad I got switched to Saner

1 comment:

B. Christman said...

You don't deserve the way I'm treating you. I'll try to stop pushing you so hard. I'll give you as much time as you need to think.

I'm not still mad. I was distracted by something and I didn't see you. I swear to you that I'm not mad. I'm sorry.